


Breathing Shallow Water

by Auldnoirious



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-05 08:10:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12790377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Auldnoirious/pseuds/Auldnoirious
Summary: [Major Spoilers for Ai's Route]'Hey, Ai-Ai, how do you think you're going to die?'Ai thought about how he choked on his saliva when Reiji asked. He berated himself for showing emotion: you don't show emotion if you are artificial. But of course, he answered back just as bluntly.'I'm think I'm going to drown.'-Ai is not human. He never was.





	Breathing Shallow Water

The December winds nipped at Ai's arms. It served him right, it was late at night and he didn't even wear a coat; he wasn't even wearing a sweater. But he didn't care. He loved the cold. He perched himself up on the high bridge, and the city lights became small specks of nothingness. His arms were turning blue, but he didn't care. He never cared: he wasn't human after all.

He stared down at the icy water waiting below. He wondered if it would kill him if he jumped; well, it obviously would. But his mind wondered to other thoughts; _how_ would it kill him? The impact? Hypothermia? He could probably mentally calculate the scientific facts, but he scowled. It would have all been his programming finding out the facts, not himself.

Shining shouldn't have let it slip. He shouldn't have let Ai know. It was as if Ai's reality shattered into a million slivers of despair. He checked his phone: nine messages from Shining, four from Camus, six from Kurosaki, and twenty-seven from Reiji. The artificial intelligence turned the phone off. Why think of himself as human, when in the end he wasn't? He never was.

He slowly slipped of his sneakers, and rested them on the concrete ground. A note laid lonely, taped on his sneakers to avoid blowing away. He remembered when him and Reiji were chatting: about dreams, aspirations, and doubts and fears. Then, Reiji innocently asked him one single question,

_Hey, Ai-Ai, how do you think you're going to die?_

Ai thought about how he choked on his saliva when Reiji asked. He berated himself for showing emotion: you don't show emotion if you are artificial. But of course, he answered back just as bluntly.

_I'm think I'm going to drown._

He remembered how Reiji's face went pale, and how he excused himself. Ai knew he struck a nerve. He wasn't guilty: after all, he didn't feel emotions. It was never in his programming. Not to mention whe Reiji accidently called him Aine once, which only fueled the inky black fire. 

He turned his gaze upwards, towards the dark sky. He could faintly notice the small snowflakes swirling around in a dance. The smalls specks of snow danced around, before melting on the concrete road. Ai wondered what would become of him, he could become a snowflake, that way he can swirl and twirl for eternity. He smiled, it would be tranquil.

His arms became numb, almost to the point they felt warm from the cold. Was he already getting hypothermia? Head-starts aren't good, they just aren't fair. Ai wants to make it fair. So, his feet leave the concrete. And he fell. He fell faster... and faster... and faster, and faster, and faster, andfasterandfasterandfasterand...

His body hits the water.

But he does not die.

Ai laid face-down in the water, sobbing and holding his breathe for who knows why. Why didn't it work? Why didn't it? Everything hurt, he wanted to die! He calculated the physics and everything! 

Wait.

Ah, he used his programming. He is an AI. He is not human. He does not feel emotion. He does not build relationships. He does not have thoughts. He does not think. He does not feel. He does not hold his breath.

Ai drowned. He became a snowflake. 


End file.
